Archive for January, 2009

Inquisitor Boris says:
you sillty shoe
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says:
Help!
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says:
I’m being attacked by SILT!
Danny says:
let’s get some shoes!!
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says:
Yeah!
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says:
And then wear them
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says:
On our hands
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says:
And declare ourselves Chairman Shoehands
Danny says:
fail
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says:
Because that would be a completely sane and normal thing to do

(22:07) Edwin: it was a very bizarre moment
(22:07) Inquisitor Boris: It was rather frightening at first…
(22:07) Edwin: I was happily suggesting to James that instead of playing cricket we should meet up to sword fight
(22:07) Edwin: and then suddenly his face and glasses get smashed to one side
(22:08) Edwin: as this ball whizzes past and somehow wedges into Boris’s SHOE
(22:08) Inquisitor Boris: Dark Brotherhood ball
(22:08) Edwin: would kill someone
(22:09) Edwin: or am I thinking of the Iron Ball
(22:09) Dan: This is why I chose a soft ball
(22:09) Dan: You can’t controllably throw the iron ball without moving it at a considerable velocity
(22:09) Inquisitor Boris: The IRON BALL is the Dark Brotherhood ball according to james
(22:09) Edwin: yes, of all the balls you could choose to smash someone’s face with, it was a reasonable choice
(22:10) Inquisitor Boris: hahahahha
(22:10) Dan: hahaha
(22:10) Edwin: I mean choosing the fucker ball wouldn’t be wise
(22:10) Inquisitor Boris: no
(22:10) Dan: indeed
(22:10) Inquisitor Boris: nor a real cricket ball

Inquisitor Boris says:
I do wish I could extract some of the commentary from Cricket 07
Inquisitor Boris says:
“Oh no! Thats four wides!” says Mark Nicholas in the world’s most inane voice
Inquisitor Boris says:
Jiiimbo
Edwin says:
wears jerkins
Inquisitor Boris says:
while eating gherkins
Edwin says:
and perusing merkins
Inquisitor Boris says:
and endlessly smirking
Edwin says:
hahahahahaa

Edwin says (23:16):

kunst is art

in the germanic languages

Inquisitor Boris says (23:16):

BELGIANS

Inquisitor Boris says (23:17):

James, you Walloon

Brussels is in the Dutch/Flemish part of Belgium, isn’t it?

so its language is Germano-Dutch

Dan says (23:17):

It’s language is predominantly bullshit

Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says (23:18):

Microshoft Vindowsh

Inquisitor Boris says (23:18):

hmmm

Dan says (23:18):

Ironically, there is a very real chance of Brussels splitting into three different countries soon

Inquisitor Boris says (23:18):

Belgium, you mean?

Dan says (23:18):

Flemish, Belgium, and France

Inquisitor Boris says (23:18):

rather than Brussels itself

Dan says (23:18):

Yes

Although it would tear brussels apart

Hopefully

Inquisitor Boris says (23:19):

I had heard about it splitting in two

not three

Edwin says (23:19):

\blah1\ –> bleeerregrgh –> \turd2\

Inquisitor Boris says (23:19):

Its a rather stupid country to begin with

blame the Spanish

its their fault

Dan says (23:19):

Well some want to be Dutch, some want to be Belgian, and some want to be French

Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says (23:19):

Espinosoids

Edwin says (23:19):

hmmm

Inquisitor Boris says (23:19):

I wasn’t aware that any of them actually wanted to be Belgian

this is amusing

Dan says (23:19):

And the rest want to be assholes who fuck up everybpdy else’s lves

Dan says (23:20):

A core contingent do

Some even want to be Luxembourgians

Inquisitor Boris says (23:20):

Thats generally the French and the Germans who happen to be in Belgium

Dan says (23:20):

Luxemburgers even

Inquisitor Boris says (23:20):

Blame the Spanish!!!!

Or

Dan says (23:20):

I reckon we should claim a bit of it as well, just for the hell of it

Inquisitor Boris says (23:20):

Blame Charles the Bold for charging some pikemen in the middle of the 15thC

Inquisitor Boris says (23:21):

I’d explain this seemingly random nonsense

Dan says (23:21):

Bit of a long time to bear a grudge, but hey ho

Inquisitor Boris says (23:21):

but it would take ages

and no-one would actually care

Dan says (23:21):

Middle ages?

Dan says (23:22):

Dark ages?

Women gettign ready with make-up ages?

Inquisitor Boris says (23:22):

Ages of Boris’s Boring

You in the shower ages?

Dan says (23:22):

We measure this in lightyears

Inquisitor Boris says (23:22):

Basically

There SHOULD be a third country

Dan says (23:22):

Called Danlands

Inquisitor Boris says (23:22):

running the length of the franco-German border

Edwin says (23:22):

hahahaha

Inquisitor Boris says (23:23):

Called BURGUNDY

however

Edwin says (23:23):

oui oui!

Inquisitor Boris says (23:23):

its Duke decided to charge some Pikemen

Dan says (23:23):

petis foloux

Inquisitor Boris says (23:23):

when he had no heir

Edwin says (23:23):

Burgundian scouuum

Inquisitor Boris says (23:23):

so his heirs-female married into the GERMAN royal family

Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says (23:23):

Tom “Duke Of Burgundy” Graham

Dan says (23:23):

This was a silly idea

As the male possesses the goods of a woman

Inquisitor Boris says (23:23):

who then also became the SPANISH royal family via a similar method

Inquisitor Boris says (23:24):

Then, they split this vast empire

and SPAIN acquired the whole of the Low Countries

Dan says (23:24):

Why couldn’t someone have gotten rid of FRANCE in a similar method

Inquisitor Boris says (23:24):

The Low Countries then became protestant

which didn’t sit well with Uber-Catholic Spain

so they split the Low Countries over a period of 100 odd years

Inquisitor Boris says (23:25):

chucked all the people who had nothing to bind them together except Catholicism into Belgium

Dan says (23:25):

I suppose they had so little self esteem that they didn’t complain

Edwin says (23:25):

Joan of Arc comes back from the dead to finish James off

Inquisitor Boris says (23:25):

and the Protestants kept whats now the Netherlands

The End

hence BELGIUM is a totally artificial country

Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says (23:25):

So’s yo face

Dan says (23:25):

hahahaha

Edwin says (23:25):

hahahaahahahaa

Dan says (23:26):

James, yuou green headed GOON

Inquisitor Boris says (23:26):

and its also been constantly invaded, raped, pillaged, destroyed etc for the last 1000 years

Edwin says (23:26):

hahahaahahaahahahaahaha that was epic

he’s waited a long time for the most opportune moment to do that

Inquisitor Boris says:
I wonder why medieval history has decamped to Pizza Express
Inquisitor Boris says:
I suppose it IS right outside the history faculty
Dan says:
Designed to trap historians?
Inquisitor Boris says:
lets take some precious 14thC parchments into a pizzaria
Dan says:
‘Goat Skin combo – three delicious servings of medieval goatskin, topped with cheese and chilli
Inquisitor Boris says:
Goatskin
Inquisitor Boris says:
COW skiin
Inquisitor Boris says:
sheep skin
Inquisitor Boris says:
crazy stitching not included
Dan says:
Something to base your ideas on mind
Inquisitor Boris says:
Please tell me that wasn’t a pun
Dan says:
I refuse to lie
Dan says:
It was an epically bad pun
Inquisitor Boris says:
I’m not sure
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says:
(arse)
Inquisitor Boris says:
I don’t think it was that bad
Inquisitor Boris says:
it was quite well disguised
Inquisitor Boris says:
and referred well to both contexts
Dan says:
I suppose
Inquisitor Boris says:
Still
Inquisitor Boris says:
there is NO SUCH THING as a good pun
Inquisitor Boris says:
so it is still a bad pun
Edwin says:
time to be PUN-ished!!!
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man punishes you for that
Inquisitor Boris says:
That, on the other hand, was (no doubt deliberately) DREADFUL
Dan says:
JAmes wants in on a pizza-de-action
Edwin says:
hahahaahahaahaha
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man shoots you
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says:
Repeatedly
Edwin says:
I thought that was the idea of puns
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says:
With a hand cannon
Inquisitor Boris says:
pizza-de-action is hilarious
Edwin says:
to be deliberately the shittest form of humour possible
Inquisitor Boris is in hysterics
Dan says:
hahaha
Inquisitor Boris says:
I think this needs quotation
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says:
BURN, HERETIC!!!!!!!

Inquisitor Boris says:
Inquisitor Boris says:
Ping? [request]
Edwin says:
   Pong! [38sec]
Inquisitor Boris says:
Ping? [request]
Edwin says:
   Pong! [01sec]
Inquisitor Boris says:
Hmm
Inquisitor Boris says:
Ping? [request]
Edwin says:
   Pong! [01sec]
Inquisitor Boris says:
Ping? [request]
Edwin says:
   Pong! [12sec]
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says:
Oh no
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says:
This looks like a nasty case of…
Oblivion Character: Corpse Man says:
UNDEATH

Dan says:
Imagine accidentally getting your penis stuck in a shredder
Inquisitor Boris says:
No
Jimbones says:
No