Archive for the ‘Quote Classics’ Category

But the life boat he is rowing sinks and he winds up stranded on the island with only a joke-telling Easter Island Head for company.

Thank the french for another A+ Job. Let’s all give it up for the frogs. très stupide
God Love the French by ROOGLE on Jun 29th, 2006 @ 7:24am

Gays don’t vomit. They are incredibly clean. They have been ever since they came to this country from France.
Thomas Hojbjerg

Environment Secretary David Miliband said Mr Prescott was “a big man”, He said Mr Prescott had decided “to give no possible suggestion that he has anything other than the interests of the country in his mind, that he’s focusing on his job”. Labour backbencher Ian Gibson said he was “very glad” that Mr Prescott would be giving up Dorneywood. But the Norwich North MP said he “feared” the media would be “trying to use Mr Prescott as a battering ram to get at the prime minister”.

This contest is already threatening to be one-sided enough for Sky television to require something more than cartoon-character gimmick to pull in the viewers. Imaginatively entitled “Stumpy” and “Willow”, these two rubbery-limbed puppets are charged with explaining Test cricket to an audience not totally versed in the game’s complexities, albeit in a way which suggests that Sky is specifically targeting three-year-olds and Americans.

“Groins, I’m told, are notoriously bad for never going away. It’s something I’ve had for a couple of years. It disappears for months on end and reappears out of nowhere.”

The show tells the story of a sultan from “far off lands” and his magical time travelling mechanical elephant.

As a precautionary measure, we are recalling the following product – The UK Independence Party – because it has been found to contain nuts.

So we made this old looking heavy paper map that felt very authentic. But when it came back from the printers, it looked, well, new. Too new. So I set mine on fire. And kicked it around the parking lot. Now it looked authentic. Miraculously, I convinced our President to let me set them all on fire. Yup, we put all the folded maps on a few giant palettes, took a blow torch, and burned the facing edge of all the maps. I cannot claim total responsibility, since the company had used the same process on inserts for Arena a few years previously. Anyway, if you bought an early copy of Redguard, you have an official “burned by Bethesda” map. We did get a few complaints from boxes smelling like fire and the ashes from the map getting on the CDs.

Soon after 5pm today a sweaty Indian fielder underarmed the ball back to Harbhajan Singh. Poor Harbhajan, having just seen a third possible wicket slip through Indian fingers, angrily swatted it away with his palm. He then sent down the final delivery of the over in a cursory fashion. The reason for that soon became clear: he was obviously saving his energy to hurl his white sunhat, Frisbee-fashion, 20 yards towards fine leg.

The requested page couldn’t be found because windows networking code is a fucking disgrace. Of course, we won’t admit this, so try reconfiguring your modem or something.

A dwarf nicknamed Od has died in a circus
accident in northern Thailand. According to the Pattaya
Mail, he “bounced sideways from a trampoline and was
swallowed by a yawning hippopotamus which was waiting to
appear in the next act. Vets on the scene said Hilda the
Hippo had a gag reflex that automatically caused her to
swallow.” The vet said it was the first time the hefty
vegetarian had ever eaten a circus performer.
“Unfortunately, the 1,000-plus spectators continued to
applaud widely until common-sense dictated that there had
been a tragic mistake”. (Melbourne Herald Sun – July 16th,
1999)

Longer days go perfectly with a long,
delicious Gordon’s.

Its official. British Summer Time is here! So change the clocks, turn off the central heating, and oil the lawnmower. There’s a real zing in the air. That’s the Gordon’s gin and tonic you’re pouring everyone to celebrate.